I really don’t know what to head this post as.. and i’m all out of witty banter *well.. sort of.. I’m never really.. completely out of wit.*
So the Ex has been made aware of the new contact agreement and has demanded additional hours during the week on the weekend that I get to spend time with HJ.
This has been declined and he is now not replying. Which means that at some point in the next week he will turn up at my door no doubt full of threats and anger or i’ll get a letter from mediation services.
He’s in for surprise, that’s all i’m going to say on the matter.
Also found a dating account of his which states he doesn’t have any children.. erm.. *hello!*
The world still doesn’t feel much brighter, my emotions are all over and I could quite easily snap over nothing at the moment. I’ve felt sick for the past 2-3 days just thinking about it all. Luckily work have been understanding and altered my shift pattern for a few weeks until I get it all sorted.
I know V isn’t right And I wish I had the strength to make him feel better but right now I can barely keep my own head above water and I feel like i’m dragging us both down so i’m trying not to lay so much on to him. I’ve got friends I can talk to, and family. He has enough to deal with without my problems on top.
I guess I just don’t want him to get bored and tired of all the issues, the insecurities, and feeling the need to support me. I get that couples support each other when required, I just feel like a real *needy little bitch* burden at the moment. And it’s not his doing. Far from it.
What I would give to actually not feel on the verge of tears every time someone asks if i’m okay. Because i’m not. I’m far from it. But right now it seems easier to plaster on the makeup, cover the dark circles, and smile. I refuse to let him beat me.