You’re brighter than them.. you have a fufi.

Quote of the day from my husband to be. This is why I love him. He empowers me. He’s not afraid of loving a strong woman. And In return I will bring our children up to be fiercely strong. More than anyone our daughter. In a world still filled with Inequalities I will teach her to not be afraid of working in a predominantly male role if that’s what she wishes. That its okay to not bow down to someone just because of their gender. That just because you’re female doesn’t mean you have to be a stay at home wife/mom. Not that there’s anything wrong with it but there’s also nothing wrong with wanting children and a career.

Today has been a testing day. A day fuelled with anxiety and stress. V had Tj’s CDC meeting which couldn’t have gone any worse. Without going in to too much P.I they’re blaming his traits on his parents separating which is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. He clearly has some issues a lot deeper than his parents separating. So a fight with the CDC and potentially a very expensive private medical bill is on the cards. I know V feels guilty. And I know nothing I say will fix that. He states 99% of him knows that they’re wrong but the 1% is what I know will haunt him. I don’t know what he thinks he could’ve done differently. Stay with her? Is that it? Does part of him wish he’d of stayed? I guess that’s the anxiety talking but I can’t help but feel that maybe I’m a bit of a mistake. And it hurts

Im also facing a potential court battle with H’ s dad. Over something so pathetic. It’s a long story but he is known to be very emotionally manipulative. If he doesn’t get his own way the threats start of court. After 3 and half years of grief from him I’ve called his bluff. Does it make me anxious? Yes. Do I have anything to worry about? According to legal advice from a very good family lawyer with the evidence I have Absolutely not. I think what scares me is what he’s capable of lying about. However, with the statements I have about his behaviour and tendencies I have full reassurance that a judge would not view him favourably. I can’t put too much on here just incase. But I can see this turning from a simple contact power trip for him to a very nasty messy court case about his behaviour towards women.

On a plus side, I did pass my forklift theory test 100% first attempt no issues. I’m now convinced I’m made to be a fork lift racer. Toot toot bitches. 

Tonight all I honestly want to do is eat cake and icecream and cry in the bath. I’m really not okay. I’ll try not to be so morbid tomorrow.


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